#52, #51, #50...

Alright guys. So this is the year of 52 new golden opportunities to improve my life...Let's get down to it.

#51- See the picture down below...that's me. See that nutcracker...yea. You know what's going on. Look at his face. He is satis-FIED.

Splinters in my throat for DAYS.

Ok, no, that is not #51. Number 51 was SUPPOSED to be ruining one of my favorite movies by seeing the satirical play Love, Factually. Not overly daring, but it was the holidays, and there wasn't a lot of time to delve into inappropriate or wild behavior. I have family to visit, people. Get off my ass. It will get more exciting. Poor choices will be made. Don't you worry. Love, Factually is a holiday satire based on Love Actually. And for anyone who will believe anything, and has no real standards for how life actually is, Love Actually it is a BRILLIANT movie. I adore it.

But let's all hold the phones for a second. Cause I was looking up info on Love, Factually tonight (mostly how to spell "satirical") and I came across THIS!!!!!

A SCIENCE-BASED BOOK ’LOVE FACTUALLY FOR SINGLE PARENTS’ GLOBALLY AVAILABLE NOW

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4099014#ixzz5c5CziY2L

http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4099014

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!! You can't take the BEST Christmas movie ever (behind ELF) and make it into a SCIENCE BASED Dating Book?! Seriously. WTF.

Moving on. I was prepared to hate Love, Factually. I was prepared to write about what asses they all are. But you know, they were funny. I didn't pee my pants with laughter, but I did enjoy it and appreciate the crowd interaction and improv. We had some real lame ducks go up on stage (how hard is it to say the word "dick" on stage people? Choke it out) (hahaha. Dick. Choke it. See what I did there?), and the actors went with it. So, if you get the chance, check it out. And I don't want any messages from you assholes about how unrealistic Love Actually is. I KNOW IT'S UNREALISTIC. However, I am pretty sure Mr. Bean's character wrapped my perfume at the Jo Malone counter the other day. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT SOMETHING IN A BAG!?! And why all the ribbons?! It's just going to take me longer to get the bag open so that I can spray perfume on to cover up the fact that I forgot deodorant (again). I apologize for all the capitalized words this post. I will do better next time. Below you can see my and my man candy hiding the camera from the usher so we don't get yelled at again.